Time for myself...

...and I hate it.

For those who know me, I guess you have all seen a real change in my mood over the last weeks.
And now it is over the roof. I am as happy as possibly can be. The silly smile, that almost cracks the head is more or less always in place.
And for those who doesn´t know me, I can just say my blog has been a cynical place before...
I know it is a risk with saying this. A risk of hurting people, but I can´t help it.
I can´t think of ever feeling this kind of happiness. I am really, truly in Love.
It tickles in my stomach and I feel warm from the inside and out. An amazing thing is that I can also still see clearly. I am not blinded.
I have met a girl who is on the same wavelenght as me in all levels and even if there is hundreds of miles between us at his moment, it feels so easy and uncomplicated. Even when I know there is so many pieces in the puzzle that needs to fall to place before our future is on the track I want and wish for.
But I have a good feeling about it and I just do what I really hate...wait. But it is ok, because I know that I am not doing it alone.
Amazing feeling that, not being alone.

I even tried the vacation thingy people talk so much about. Almost 5 days. And I don´t know how I can describe it with words. Everything was just... perfect.

I sit in my hotelroom now, alone. And yes, I am happy, but right now, at his moment I feel...not sad, but a bit low. But it is a strange kind of blue. Because at the same time I don´t feel alone. And I know that I am not alone. So my mood goes up and down like a bouncing ball. But feeling low is not a bad thing either. It is a good kind of low, it is because I really miss her. It is just a new feeling and I need to get used to it. With the knowledge that I love someone who loves me back I could surely endure worse things.

And with those, the deepest thought´s I think I have ever written on this blog I just want to do one last thing. I am proud, honoured and really happy to present my girlfriend to the world.

This is the real deal.