Being creative...

I had a lot of really good texts in my head that I wanted to write and post to this, the forum of my own mind. But I just could not get it out.
It was about dancing with yourself, the mind of someone creative, having a really good time, when tears are ok even for a man. But every time I tried to write I just had nothing.
And then I remembered a talk I had with my friend Henrik (the other Slacker) last week about being creative.

Creative minds, no matter if you are a songwriter, writer, artist or something else. When it comes to doing something creative you have to be either pissed off or sad. Of course you can do stuff even when you are in a good mood (I painted a lot last week and my mood was over the rooftops), but the real flow you can get almost only occures when being in a really good mood. It is a way to get it all out of your head.
The more I think about it the more right it is, even though it is also the other way around. I have to write something when I am really happy too, get a little bit of it out of my head to release some pressure in my fuzzy brain.

So, that is why it again has been really quiet in here for a while. I have been over the rooftops, the sky is not the limit, sitting on the moon-happy this weekend. I wanted to share everything with you but I could not. I had to check my e-mail from time to time but besides that I did not want to spend any time doing something else than being in the moment. I wanted to enjoy every millisecond I had, and I did.
I will try to do a post about it later, but just now I just keep it for myself.
And here is also another reason for not writing even a dot. After I came back to reality, to hell, to Oba Star Hotel yesterday I could not write, even if I was filled with rage, hate, happy memories, bubbling Love and an bottomless sadness.
To be honest I had to fight hard to even breath. I think I said it before, Jonas does NOT do Good Bye´s!
I hate it, always had, always will. But now, after a good day and evening with my friends, a lot of work and a nice time on Skype I feel better. Now it is just a bottomless, aching feeling of missing someone. And Love.

Tomorrow when I open my eyes it should only be 13 day´s left of this shit. After that I will leave Oba Star behind me and hopefully never, ever return. Not in a lifetime! I actually thought about peeing on the carpet under the bed before leaving. That is how much I hate this place.

Besides that all is good. The future is brighter than ever and right now my, or should I more correctly say our dreams has come true and I actually really much look forward to going to Mexico again!
I am slowly building a future together with L. I always said that my plan is to live forever, and so far so good. Well, I really want that. Live forever, together with L. And I really look forward to forever, every single day of it if I just get to wake up to that smile, eyes and everything else that is her.